Things I Should Have Said
We are friends, though you’ve plunged from our cozy academic nest with the wind in your feathers and wild glory written across your face. I’m still here, peeking over the edge, clutching fear and excitement equally in trembling claws. I watched you take wing knowing that it was our ending, and realized only then, staring at a sky left empty in your wake, just how much I learned from you.
I learned that fearlessness is a choice and kindness, a great start. I learned how much easier it is to be happy than not, even in hard times, and how much easier it is to be accepting than not, even with hard people. I learned not only to see the glory of the universe but to seek it out and ultimately to live it. And I learned what it meant to trust, to have faith in and even to forgive myself.
These things, you taught me without trying. These things, you taught me simply by living.
I also learned, albeit too late, that even rejection is preferable to never asking, to never knowing for sure.
* * * *
Aside from Wednesday, when I skivved off all my duties and ran away to Water World for a day (resulting in some positively awe-inspiring sunburns), I have not had a single day off since the day I put Tigger down. This summer I’ve worked two jobs and taken two intense summer courses and finally, today, this very moment, I am free. Huzzah!
My 22nd birthday is on the 14th, and fall semester starts on the 20th. I have three goals between this instant and that one: a) travel, b) clean, c) craft. Wish me luck!