And now for buttons!
I made (and completely used- buttons are good for that) three different canes for this batch; the aforementioned skull cane, a purple rose cane (like the blue one I’ve done before) and a simple heart cane. I also had a new set of heart-shaped cutters that, with Valentine’s approaching, I may have gone a little overboard with.
I’m actually not too happy with these buttons, which means it’s a good thing I only made three. I meant to mix white with a bit of translucent for the background, but looking at them now I suspect that I mixed translucent with a bit of translucent. Oops. In my defense, I was working in the dark.
I can’t decide if these or the skulls are my favorite buttons to date. I’ve not drilled holes in the smaller ones yet- only the largest of the hearts. Said hearts are big bold focal pieces, more likely to be used as accent than functional part (unless you want a pretty large button hole). See:
Finally, the ones that make me giggle all crazy-like, the skull buttons:
There’s just something fantastic about a large heart-shaped button that’s covered in skulls, no?
Accomplishments in button making aside, I’m having a rather hard time today. I’ve been job hunting every day for almost half a year now, and feel, if anything, less accomplished than when I started- what savings I had have dwindled, and I’m almost totally dependent on the kindness of my boyfriend. I’m not ungrateful, not at all; I’m just exhausted. I’ve always highly valued my independence, my ability to take care of my self in most any fashion or situation, and this just wears on me a little more each day.
My first instinct, when something is bothering me, is to sit down and think through how I can work to fix the problem. It’s something I’m rather proud of, and I tend to be relatively happy, productive and drama-free as a result. Unfortunately, this time the thing that’s driving me mad is how I don’t have enough control of my life to change anything. Even that I can deal with if I’ve got an end in sight, but I don’t know when, how or even if things will change any time soon. The entire nation’s in an economic hole; I have no reason to suspect I’ll get any luckier than anyone else. How do you fix a problem when the problem is that all your attempts at a fix, for six months, have failed?
Another problem is that a galling amount of my usual methods of keeping busy and happy are out of budget. Even going hiking -a favorite escape- costs gas money (and often park fees). Treating myself to a dinner out, going to the movies, new books? Out. (Which is not to say James, in his fantastic-ness, doesn’t take me out or treat me now and again, but the fact that I can’t yet return the favor, that I’m dependent on him even to get out of the house every once in a while, exacerbates the root problem of my frustration with my lack of independence).
I think it’s time to take a day off and bury myself in something distracting, like a book or the internet, if only to keep my brain from beating up on me for a while. I bet some good food and good rest and maybe a hard workout will get be back to my old determined, hard-working and hopeful self. Meanwhile, mind if I ask some advice from the collective wisdom of internet friends? What do you do when you’re feeling discouraged? How do you distract your brain and keep it busy when it keeps trying to go on a binge of negativity? How do you deal with problems that you can’t actually fix, and thus must simply put up with?