BRAAAAAAAAIINNS!!! (Also, tips on being a zombie.)
Ut-oh. There’s a zombie in the yard again.
Don’t you just hate when that happens?
I mean, they get blood everywhere, they chew on the trim, and don’t even get me started on what they do to your property value.
But know what’s worse?
A megahorde of zombies, to the tune of 7,000+, wandering around downtown. I mean, there goes the neighborhood, right?
Yesterday, I went to the Denver Zombie Crawl 2010, and help break the world record for most zombies lurching around hunting for brains in one place. Don’t you pity the poor normal people who just came to 16th Street for, you know, food-dinner and not brains-dinner, and found themselves facing a side of apocalypse with their hamburger?
But hey. Zombies were people too. Who says the right to free assembly doesn’t transcend the grave?
I didn’t go alone:
It must be undead love. I mean, we even have matching neck wounds!
(Side note: Jalan Crossland has an awesome song on the topic of undead love. Alas, I don’t think it’s actually recorded yet.)
So you want to be a zombie, but you don’t have anyone to bite you? How about a few hints. First: I have seen many dead people, and while they had been well-soaked in formaldehyde and thus weren’t quite in their, erm, natural state… none of them were pasty-paper-sheet white. Second, when your eyes go sunken, the area under your eyes gets a whole lot darker than the area above it. Basically, I’m saying that if you paint your face white and draw black circles all around your eyes, you will look like a raccoon or a lost gothling, not a zombie. Even if you splatter on a little blood- then you just look like a rabid raccoon (or, I suppose, a rabid goth). A good zombie is a bit more delicate.
Zombie outfits are cheap. You’ll need some clothes from the thrift store you’re willing to fling and flick red paint all over (remember, if you do handprints, you should drag your hands around a little! The printees are struggling for their lives against a mindless, ravenous beast, not sitting down at the local PD getting booked.) For the actual tissue carnage, you’ll need a few things from the costume store: liquid latex and what’s called a bruise palette, which should have red, brown, yellow and green face paint.
You might want some translucent powder to go on top of the whole mess, too.
The yellow and green are for the edges. The red and brown are for the wounds. Use the liquid latex to glue tattered toilet paper onto your face for broken, peeling skin. Squish it around a little before it dries to make some gnarly wounds. Highlight under your eyes (think dead and sunken, not raccoon!) and cheekbones (I used my eyeshadow, in blue and brown). As a final touch, swish a little blue and red food coloring in your mouth, and it’ll be nasty and rotten for a while. Voila! Undead.
Of course, this is more your freshly-dead and hungry sort of zombie. If your undead persona has been rotting in a grave your a few years and just recently decided to claw its way back into the light, well, YMMV.
But I don’t think those look like raccoons either.
Shamble on, my brain-loving friends.